4 words.

Life is too stressful.

That epiphany moment.

Theres a moment, the instant that divides unquestionable misery from realization. An instant where your entire mindset changes. You realize, everything you've been doing is wrong. Its your fault that you made yourself a certain way, and its up to you to do something about it. But if you hold in all those feelings, don't put your goals out into the universe, and don't let the world know what you want, then you'll never be able to attain it. Its the moment where you walk out to the edge of a cliff, after hours of thinking its nuts to dive off, its too far, you'll never make it, and you accidentally tripped. Your mid air, nothing but the laws of  physics propelling you towards the water, and your realize, why was I so scared to jump. There's the adrenaline, the realization that yes, I can. I don't have to be afraid. That feeling of invincibility. That's the moment things change.

Stress

Its amazing how in one day, you can go from feeling so relaxed, to feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Yeah, i know its a cliche metaphore, but that's how it feels. You know. The nagging feeling that makes you sit not quite as straight as you normally would, your head look not quite as high as it normally would, your feet not make it off the floor as you walk. Its that feeling that we truely are vanquishable. Its that little voice in the back of our heads reminding us that we can't do everything we ever wanted. Its the thing that makes us sick and depressed.

School is a major cause of stress. Much like the workplace, it adds on massive amounts of truely unneeded pressure. Teachers can teach all they want, but why must we take tests, do homework and that type of thing. I mean, I can understand the need to teach information, but must we know to spit it back out at the drop of a hat? For years the human race survived off of just remembering the things your mind remembered on its own. So why must it be that we all know the same exact thing? Our knowledge should be what makes us individuals. By the time we graduate from college, we've forgotten everything anyway and instead are filled with the knowlege of our jobs and our personal lives. If you gave any adult an SAT, I can garuntee they won't get above a 1000.

Then on top of the whole school business, there's friends. Our peers, the people we have to spend all day with. the three thousand teenagers we have to share the same rooms, classes, and bathrooms with. We have to listen to all of their gossip, whether we want to or not, and its not like we can ever really get away from them if we don't like them. At least at a job you could escape and hide from someone you don't like. Or in an office you might be lucky enough to have your own personal cubical. A space that you can call your own that you can control. But in school, you get a single square foot of locker space that's barely big enough to hold your books, let alone anything extra you might want to bring with you. The furthest you can get away from someone in your class that you don't like would be the opposite end of the room, but not when there are assigned seats. Oh yeah, you don't even get to choose where you sit for the entire year sometimes. Its that bad!

Then there's work. All the stuff you actually kind of choose to do. Our parents may have forced us to work, or we chose to work to help pay for all of those wonderful car payments and  lovely tanks of gas, but we usually get to choose the workplace in which we are in. Even then, work is never fun. Aside from the actual "work" part, you still have to deal with people, crazy bosses, the creepy guy at register 4, the woman who calls you seventeen times a day to set up a schedule with you, even though you've done your best to settle it all out with her and she doesn't seem to realize that you might actually have a life other than working for her. Its all apart of the working biz, but that doesn't mean its not a pain in the ass.

Then there's parents on top of it all. They tell you to quit being so stressed out, do this, and do that, and while their intentions may be good, they're honestly just making everything worse. You know the conversation. You say you have a ton of homework, but coach kept you at practice till 8 instead of 7 and you had to help Jimmy with his Physics homework. Then mom chimes in with the, well maybe you shouldn't play football, and why didn't you tell Jimmy that you just don't have time to help him today and come strait home? Then when you finally get everything settled out and you find a minute to do nothing, they call you lazy and you should be taking on more responsibilities. Really?

Its all so much, and thats just when hit you on monday. Imagine what the rest of the week holds.

Starting Anew

About a year ago to the date, i started the most epic life change I had ever expierienced in that I changed the entire way in which i lived. I stopped sulking around, moping about how much I hated myself and that I didn't do certain things, and actually started doing something about it. About 6 months later, I felt pretty awesome about myself. I was HEALTHY for the first time in my life. Then stress overwhelmed me this summer, and everything went to shreds. I ended up making myself really sick, and I didn't realize until recently, that I was doing it all to myself. I was thinking too much about what the world expected from me and forgot that I have to listen to my own body to find out what I needed to do for myself. I always thought it was selfish to think of yourself before others, but in some cases, you need to focus on what is good for you. You are no help to anyone if you're sick in bed because you forgot to listen to your own body telling you that you have taken on too much.

I have taken on too much.

I have heard the calls of my body screaming to stop doing so much and learn to relax. I have goals, i have things to keep my mind set strait. Now all i need to do is to follow them. I have one body and one life to live in it. Why am I going to suffer through it when I can go out in the world and be happy? Happiness is never too much to ask for.

So here is to the raw life. Living off of what is pure: What the world has given me, earth has created, and I inside feel. Being kinder: to myself, my family, my friends, and those in the world around me. Being more peaceful: in mind, body, and soul. And being happy: smiling, laughing, and enjoying my life.

Living Raw

It is not all about just simply eating raw, but it's about living basically. I want to take many things out of my life that are unorganic, that lead my mind into bad places. For this week, my goal is food. Everything I eat will never be spoiled by preservatives, man made fats and other things that will do harm to my body. I will respect my body now by eating the way our great ancestors did, living off the land. That is the way our bodies were intended to work and look.